Introduction to Spiritual Sex
Spiritual sex in India, Tibet, Nepal, China and Japan, has long been regarded as both an art and a science. In general the eastern view of life is that no life is complete without a thorough knowledge of the sexual principals underlying all existence.
Difference between Love and Lust
Some people assume that sex is all to do with lust. However this is absurd because sex for procreation is an act of love, not lust. Love is a relationship which is about union, selflessness and something which comes from the heart. Lust is a sexual desire which is materialistic, selfish and comes from the flesh. Lust is concerned with fulfilling its own needs conditionally. Love is concerned with satisfying the needs of others unconditionally.
Chinese Taoist Tradition
The Chinese have always regarded sex to be as natural and indispensable to human health and longevity as rain falling on the fields is to plant life.
Sacred sexuality is mentioned in a little-known text by Lao Tzu, an ancient Taoist who says, “Where ordinary intercourse is effortful, angelic cultivation (careful sexual intercourse) is calm, relaxed, quiet, and natural. Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body.”
Clearly Lao Tzu believes there is much at stake in our lovemaking and an opportunity to experience oneness as he goes on to say, “The cords of passion and desire weave a binding net around you…The trap of duality is tenacious. Bound, rigid, and trapped, you cannot experience liberation. But through dual cultivation it is possible to unravel the net, soften the rigidity, dismantle the trap. Dissolving your yin energy into the source of universal life, attracting the yang energy from that same source, you leave behind individuality and your life becomes pure nature. Free of ego, living naturally, working virtuously, you become filled with inexhaustible vitality and are liberated forever from the cycle of death and rebirth.”
Indian Spiritual Tradition
Ancient Indian sages composed the Kama Sutra on the basis of the Vedas which is the study of kama or erotic practice, and its cultivation in both man and woman. The Kama Sutra promotes intimacy between partners, attention to mood, atmosphere and the senses, and is not just focused on sexual positions. About 20 percent of the book is devoted to sexual positions which number 64 in total. Vatsyayana believed there were eight ways of making love, multiplied by eight positions within each of these. The remainder gives guidance on how to be a good citizen and insights into men and women in relationships. The Kama Sutra describes making love as ‘divine union’. Vatsyayana believed that sex itself was not wrong, but doing it frivolously was sinful. The Kama Sutra has helped many couples enjoy the art of sex at a deeper level and can be considered a technical guide to sexual enjoyment.
Spiritual Sex in Sikhism
Sex for Procreation
Some Sikhs feel that sex should only be used in procreation, however, this is a personal choice and there is no religious directive either way. At the same time, celibacy is not encouraged either.
Merging of Auras and Consciousness
Having intercourse within the institution of marriage, when performed with the proper care, knowledge, and techniques can not only be a very pleasurable, energising and a healing experience, it can also give one the experience of God-Consciousness.
In ‘Sexuality As A Sacred Meditation’, by S.S. Guru Terath Kaur Khalsa Ph.D she writes, “Sexual intercourse is not a relationship between his penis and her vagina. It is total merger of their polarities, auras, spirits and consciousness. Appreciating and respecting this can bring a blissful merger for both on the highest spiritual levels. Sex is a sacred act, created by God, which if done consciously, can take the couple straight to God.”
An Abundance of Energy
Also in ‘Kundalini Yoga, Flow of Energy’ by Dr. Dyal Singh Khalsa, we have some very enlightening information, “Sexual intercourse, between a man and a woman is the relay of energy through the physical body, to the auric body, to the pranic body, and to the radiant body, which gives everlasting fulfilment. If properly done, it will give each other the equivalent of FIVE YEARS OF ENERGY, one year per tattwa.”
There are five basic elements called tattwas (earth, air, fire, water, ether) that make us who we are. We have a total of ten bodies including our physical, auric, and pranic body. We have eight chakras or centres of energy. The second chakra is connected to our sex organ. The tantric experience may start in our creative sex chakra, but it should expand to include all the chakras and bodies.
Sex in Sikh dharma is only allowed within the institution of marriage with your spouse. Sex before marriage is not supported or encouraged.
Excessive Sex and Masturbation
Sikhism warns that overindulgence in sexual intercourse or masturbation, can be a drain on one’s energy, as well as a shock to the nervous system, opening the doors for sickness and disease. It will also shut down a person’s higher consciousness. Men especially should not overindulge in having a physical orgasm, especially masturbation. The reason for this is to do with the loss of life force energy called semen or ‘bindu’.
Yogi Bhajan has said, “A man’s semen contains all the vitamins, and minerals that he needs. One should bring this semen or Bindu up his spine, so that it may become Ojas (life force) and distribute it throughout his body. It takes Eighty bites of food, when fully digested, to give you one drop of blood. Eighty drops of pure blood makes one drop of semen. A man needs 90% of his semen, to maintain his body.”
Kundalini yoga uses a variety of sacred Sikh meditations for couples, called Shukra or Venus Kriyas, as a way to augment the experience of oneness by the merging of auras. To perform a partner meditation:
- Sit down opposite your partner
- Put your hands together in prayer pose (palms of the hands together with the base of the thumbs pressed against the sternum)
- With your hands still together, look into your partner’s eyes and don’t blink
- Repeat the mantra ‘SA TA NA MA’ for 3 to 30 minutes everyday for 40 days
Sat Kriya is a Kundalini Yoga set for sexual energy control. Sat Kriya pulls energy to our higher energy centres where the energy is more useful:
- Sit on your heels (put a cushion underneath your feet if necessary)
- Interlock all your fingers, except your index fingers (next to your thumbs), which point straight up and touch
- Raise your arms over your head so that your arms are hugging your ears
- Close your eyes and look up towards the top of your head
- Inhale and say ‘Sat’ while pulling in your navel point and solar plexus in towards the spine, then say ‘Naam’ and relax all the muscles. This should be rhythmic and you should be doing one ‘Sat Naam’ every second
- Continue for 3 minutes, then inhale and squeeze the muscles tightly from the buttocks and pull in the navel point, to allow the energy to flow all the way to the top of the skull, then exhale slowly after holding your breath for as long as you can
- Relax for equal the time you practice the Kriya, by lying down with palms of hands facing up and breathing slow and deep
Work your practice gradually up to 31 minutes. Do this for 40-90 days. In 90 days, you will learn to control your energy.
Food for Building Life Force
Eating garlic, onions and ginger, known as the trinity root, will help to build up your Ojas (life force) which is the substance that maintains life and is used within our sexual fluids.
There are no injunctions in Sikhism against the use of contraceptives, and in fact contraceptives should be encouraged to protect against sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV and AIDS. However, it should be advised that when using any form of contraception, care should be taken with regards to possible physical side effects.
Women should be physically, mentally, spiritually, economically and emotionally fit to bring a child into the world, otherwise a child may not have the quality of life it deserves. The yogic scriptures say that the soul enters a human foetus on the 120th day of pregnancy, therefore having an abortion before this day is permissible. However, abortion at any stage of the pregnancy is a personal decision and compassion, intelligence and intuition should be used.
Sikhs do not support male or female circumcision. The physical, sexual and psychological harm caused by circumcision begins from the moment a baby is strapped into the circumstraint, a board designed especially for the surgery. Usually performed without anaesthetic, the operation is excruciating for the baby. Research published in medical journals like ‘The Lancet’ shows that circumcision causes overwhelming pain, traumatic shock and behavioural changes. It also alters a baby’s sleep patterns, feeding habits and activity levels, and disturbs the mother-infant bond.
The Sikh scriptures do not mention homosexuality. Sexuality is a part of nature, and to go against one’s nature is to not live in one’s own truth. The most important aspect of a human being is the soul which has no sexual orientation and therefore the spiritual path is open to all, regardless of whether a person is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender or queer.